I have always been intrigued by how our definition of success can vary so drastically between us. A large majority of people are conditioned to think it is measured by their job title, how much money they have in the bank or the size of their home. For me it is measured by something much different.  Simply put, it is measured by the difference I am able make in this world, especially with children. To be able to impact the lives of 72 little strangers, bandage some of their emotional and physical pain and make sure they were fed and comfortable...this is success to me. Yes, they are still orphans and still live in the same run down building, but the heaviness of the weight they carried on those tiny shoulders has been lifted, if even just a little bit. You can see it in the way they look at you and feel it when they finally reach for your hand. The genuineness of their affection is much deeper and each of those smiles (especially Dina's) has been earned. These subtle differences mean that in a small way we were able to affect them and start to rebuild their hope and faith in others and more importantly, themselves. This is my version of  success.

After filling their pantry and medical cabinet I spent my last day at the orphanage de-licing and showering all 72 kids, playing connect 4, letting the girls braid my hair for two hours and hugging and holding them close. When I would feel myself tearing up, which was often, I would focus on their laughter or how ridiculous my hair looked in 20 tiny braids. Every second of it was emotional but I felt at peace with leaving them because I had truly given them everything I had. After I ran out of games to play and hair to braid it was time to start saying goodbye. I hugged them all, one at a time knowing this could be their only hug for a long, long time. I wouldn't have cared if it took four hours I still wouldn't let go first and again they got everything every ounce of energy and love that I had. Taupe was upset and obviously affected, this tore me apart. He has been my shadow the majority of the month and it crushed me when he looked up at me as I was saying goodbye and said, "tomorrow?" with a giant smile.... As if maybe with his sweet delivery I would possibly stay a little longer. I hugged him for what felt like an eternity and told him that I loved him. I had one of the kids translate again that this was my last day and I would not be back tomorrow. This was one of the hardest things I have ever had to say, out loud.  His head and shoulders slumped down and his eyes filled with tears as he just stared up at me. I was prepared for it to be a difficult goodbye but there was no preparing for how this felt. I have watched him transform in the last month from a shy, unsure and sad individual into a confident, outgoing and happy boy. There is no doubt in my mind he will continue to grow. It was with this thought that I found the strength and peace I needed to climb into that tuk-tuk and be chased down the street one last time by the kids. Taupe was the last one running and last one to let go of my hand. I waited to get around the corner and let it all go. I let go the frustration I had during the trip over their living situation, the sadness I felt when seeing them sick and suffering, and the initial feeling of helplessness over trying to tackle such an enormous undertaking. I was smiling through the tears.

When looking back at this experience and realizing what we were able to accomplish in just a month it is almost unfathomable. I am not just referring to all that we were able to do for the kids, but how we grew so much ourselves. The tiny lessons we learned every day that quickly added up to a much bigger picture. These kids have changed me forever and they will be impossible to forget. I will be worrying about them showering every day, or if someone is keeping an eye on their health and if they have enough vegetables for the week. Hopefully they will remember how to brush their teeth, hang up their clothes and hose the pigs off every day like I showed them.  These children have already survived so much, I know they will be just fine.

I will be following up with Taupe's eye surgery, which is something that is happening soon but could not be rushed and have ensured that all the supplies that were sent to them that didn't make it in time get into the right hands. A new volunteer arrived on the day I left and I wrote down everything we had accomplished and what her duties were for the children every day. I told her to pass it on before she leaves so the children have some consistency and routine in their lives. She is a former teacher from Australia and now works in the medical field, so they are in very good hands. The children were affectionately calling her "Grandma" from day one.

The future of the Children's Global Alliance is brighter than ever. I am heading home to continue to fund raise for my next project which will involve another orphanage in a third world country. I will continue my research to bring "At-Risk" kids that I currently work with at home on these projects with me. My vision is to start them on a path of giving back to others while developing confidence and principles within themselves. Empowering them to make a hands-on impact upon others while simultaneously exposing them to different cultures and countries is something that cannot be recreated in a classroom.


One of my favorite quotes is, "Nothing is more unstoppable than the human soul on fire." If this holds true than I am currently a blazing inferno. I am more motivated and inspired than I have ever been before. Your support, encouragement and excitement are the force behind making my vision a reality. Thank you each and every one of you for your unconditional love. This would have been impossible without you.

Lots of Love,
LM