Heavy Day

When I initially received the information from the organization I am volunteering through, I remember one distinct rule/suggestion. The rule said, "Don't grow attached to the children." I remember thinking, "Good luck with that." I definitely make a conscious effort to spread the love and attention evenly around the orphanage but there is one boy who is always by my side, Taupe. I have talked about him before and posted pictures of him on Facebook. He is the first to run into my arms when I arrive in the morning and is the last one to let go when I leave. He is the 10  year boy (that looks 6) that was found in the forest, starving and malnourished, blind in his left eye, with two parents desperately sick and dying from AIDS. He is a little skinny ball of love and joy. He hugs me all day and falls asleep on my lap, holding my hand. He has only been there a few months and when we asked if he had been tested for HIV the director was pretty positive he had been. It turns out, he has not. I am taking him myself to get tested for AIDS tomorrow.

When you see a child without food to eat, the same dirty clothes on every day, no pillow or hygiene skills and a broken down shelter..... it breaks your heart, but those things can be fixed. I have fed him, bathed him, put him in new clothes and his shelter is a work in progress. The thought that he may have an illness with no cure and knowing there is not a way for me to fix it, has ripped my heart out.. No doubt I will be on my hands and knees tonight begging for this child to be spared. He has been through hell already, I want to take it all away. Keeping it short tonight, I can barely type through the tears. Please pray for this little boy and for the strength for me to handle the outcome.

xo,
LM