Friday, May 27, 2011

Last day part 2

Every time you leave, you leave it all there.  You leave every ounce of your heart, energy, sweat and more sweat to those orphaned children. You become emotionally stripped to your core. The last day is undoubtedly the most intense of them all.  Exuding the amount of effort to provide them with what they need and deserve each and every day takes it's toll, in nothing but a positive way.

Our last day at the orphanage was the absolute definition of bitter sweet. The day started and of course ended with my weak and overworked tear ducts in action. After that rough morning with Chantim we took our last adventure to the Russian market to gather our party supplies. Hula hoops, bowling pins, party hats, games and other necessities were bargained for and purchased.  Squeezing all seven of us back into one tuk tuk with all the supplies was quite a spectacle. We got it together and took our traveling clown show back to the orphanage.  After dropping off round one of surprises Jen and I headed off to "Pizza World" to pick up 25 piping hot pizza's and ice cold Coca-cola's. We received a greeting at the orphanage warmer than the pizza's and our whole group pitched in to swiftly serve the children. Having an unconditional love for pizza is definitely a global thing, you have no idea how exciting this was for them.  I personally think it's just as exciting to watch them devour it all while they smile so big it makes it hard for them to even chew. Their meals typically consist of rice, three times a day so you can imagine their gratitude and delight. To really bring it home we followed up the pizza with banana splits complete with chocolate, whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles.

Throughout the day our students from Vail noticed and commented on how much more affectionate and clingy the kids at the orphanage had become. They understood it was because there was no guarantee new volunteers would be coming anytime soon and the that our time there was coming to an end. When would they get their next bath, hug or vegetable? You don't know and that is one of the most challenging parts of this experience.  All day our team gave out a few months worth of hugs and kisses. The kids at the orphanage returned the favor with handwritten letters to each of us, bracelets they had made from string and of course, my favorite, lots of origamy teradactyls and horses. Our dance party was halted because of a broken speaker but we had danced enough the day before to make up for it....thank goodness because I was out of moves. I fought the tears until the lump grew too big in the back of my throat and I didn't have any fight left. I looked over and saw a shy boy named David starting to cry, he was hugging Anna who is 13 and one of our student volunteers from Vail. She was crying too and holding him like she could stay in that moment for a lifetime...that was enough. I watched one by one as the children started to cry, the moment had come.

I have had some very vivid and heavy dreams of this place since leaving it last year. Sometimes I swear I can actually feel my arms around them. The walk from the area we were in to the front gates where our tuk-tuk awaited was about 100 yards. On this night, that walk, took almost two hours. They tell you through their tears to, "please never forget them." It's one of the few things they can say in English which makes you hang helplessly on every syllable. If they only knew how impossible it would be to ever forget them. If they only knew that I carry them with me every day and have built my life's work and dreams around them. If they only knew the immeasurable power they have had over all of our lives. My last hug was reserved for Taupe, the boy who was blind and introverted when I had first met him last year. He had me at,  "Hello, Sister."  I had dreaded this moment almost as much as I had dreamt about it. I put everything down beside me and got down on my knees, exactly like I had done in my dreams. I hugged him so tight I could feel his heart racing against mine. There we were, lost in tears, the last thing I wanted to feel was the warm air creep in between us, time to let go. Torture.

It was dark when we climbed back into the tuk-tuk, we were surrounded by kids, all crying all grasping for one last squeeze. We rode away, we had all surrendered to the heaviness of the moment. No talking, just tears and reflection about the magnitude of what we had accomplished in just two short weeks. We had given them two weeks off from their typical lives, just trying to survive each day and they gave us a lifetime of lessons.  As I looked around the tuk tuk and into the eyes of the students from Vail, Nina, Anna, Jack Tabor and Kassie and their teacher Mrs. Gutmann,  this was my proudest moment. They had felt, they were affected, they were forever changed.

The capacity we have as human beings to love is extraordinary. These children teach you to recognize that, they are a living, breathing example of it. Once you understand and become able to tap into your unlimited resource of love there's no turning back. They force you to "get it." Your childhood, even if it was flawed, was never like it is for these kids. It makes you want to hug your family, never let them go and live next door to them forever. It makes you want to work harder in your own life to someday find  the happiness that these orphaned children have found with nothing but their spirit.

The future of the Children's Global Alliance continues to shine bright. To be able to provide this experience to students from the U.S while simultaneously helping impoverished children around the world has been my most personal dream come true. This is still only the beginning. I want to provide this opportunity for as many students as possible and create and build relationships in other poverty stricken countries around the world. I want to do every thing I can to impact communities, lives and hearts and open the eyes of our future generation to the world around them. Thank you for your extraordinary support and more importantly, thank you for your love.

LM

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